I consider myself as a blessed person. From day one of my life I've been provided with everything I've wanted and needed. I have incredible parents who never thought twice to make it a point that I had what made me happy; simultaneously knowing where to draw the line to prevent a spoiled and pampered child.
For most of my life I've lived away from my motherland. Away from tradition and custom; away from relatives; away from the general Indian thinking. I've been given the freedom that most Tamil parents don't give their daughters- in terms of education, career, or even lifestyle. I've been allowed to become what I've wanted and believe in whatever I've wanted to, as long as I wasn't pushing it to an extreme. And to be honest, they're extremely liberal, understanding and broad-minded for Tamil parents! Yet they're quite traditional. Amidst a very modern upbringing I was taught to speak Tamil at home; to admire traditional clothes; to observe festivals and auspicious days; and to appreciate my heritage and roots.
Being people who've lived half their lives abroad, I didn't think my parents were typically traditional people when it came to certain things. Marriage- to be more specific.
In spite of numerous attempts to understand the concept of an arranged marriage, I just can not get myself to see that it makes any sense. If I'm not mistaken, the person you're marrying is supposed to be your soul mate - the one you see yourself growing old with. All I'm saying is that how can you be asked to accept someone you don't really know as your soul mate? You may not even click with the person on so many levels. Then what? It's not like dating where you can call it quits because you feel you're not of like minds. So do you just accept your fate and live with someone who probably does not see life the way you do? (or vice versa)
All marriages that take place in my family are arranged. Even cousins who have been well educated and exposed to a fairly modern life have happily and willfully consented to arranged marriages. I on the other hand, do not see how I'd ever be able to accept it. Call it westernisation or a generation gap, it is beyond me how two people who don't know one another are decided by everyone else that they're 'made for each other'.
I know the clock is ticking and soon I'd be put in a spot where I'm going to have to battle it out with tradition and my personal beliefs. I don't want to give in, yet I don't want the very people who've given me so much liberty to regret how they've brought me up. I could mentally gear myself and somehow programme myself to accept that I will eventually have an arranged marriage. But I know for the rest of my life I'm going to be reminded that I was forced to do something I was against; something that I opposed and never believed in. And that would somewhat mean going against my own conscience.